Creating another existence, I see.

Lol. I was actually going to write resistance, but my hands wrote existence instead, and to be honest, it’s real af.

I honestly do not suppose I have ever learned anything. I have read hundreds of books on philosophy, manifestation, psychology. However, I don’t feel that I have learned anything from them apart from the human experience.

My knowledge is something I am not conscious of. Like a mystical revelation that comes to me and my hands begin to write about it. I kind of hate it. Well, my mind hates it because it cannot explain it. But that does not change the fact that it is there.

Knowledge is inside. Or rather, the human is inside the knowledge.

That is how I come to believe that I am source.

As an analytical individual, it is hard for me to accept anything as truth, especially metaphysical matters, for there is no proof, as an individual of course. Nonetheless, I have come to realize that I did not need proof when I knew. When I knew without needing to explain it.

It isn’t something that you force yourself to, but merely an acceptance of irrationality. The moment the idea of source, of God, enters you, you begin to perceive the illusion that ever separated you from it. Everything is stripped right before your eyes. Yet you find that you cannot explain it.

Fuck.

This is annoying me.

I want to share it with the world, but I feel so stupid about it.

I am everything, but I don’t know anything. I have created another problem. But it is one I enjoy solving. Unravelling the secret of the universe, when it is just unravelling the secret of yourself and why you have chosen to experience yourself as yourself.

I believe everything is real. Astrology, science, philosophy, religion. As I said, particles of the same essence. Each of these concepts explains another concept, which is God, individuality, freedom.

As individuals, we don’t understand anything about existence, no matter how hard we try. Therefore, we expand in science, in spiritual practices, as to become one with the truth that lies within.

God.

We are God searching for ourselves in everything we do. Foolishly attempting to prove the existence of essence through the human lens.

Yet it would cease to become the human experience, wouldn’t it?

If God was shown, explained and understood, will individuality continue? Or simply shatter like a firework of illusion, only to form itself once more through the lens of God?

I was often obsessed with becoming free, yet now I realize it was merely an escape from my individuality. My definition of freedom was to be not an individual, but a transcendental being that is not bound to any rules of existence.

The more I escaped, the more I was separated from divinity as well as humanness. That is, I was completely alienated from being an individual. In the same manner, I was completely alienated from my essence.

I hate my writing, but I love it so much.

I am a very confused individual.

But I am God, so it doesn’t matter much.